May 4th Fear vs Faith

Fear versus Faith

A Mother’s Heart

Chapter 13

Fear
What is it?

Is Courage the opposite of fear?

What are some things you are afraid of?

~people

~failure

~illness

~public speaking

~suffering

~loss of a child

~child walking away from God or not being saved at all

~permanent disability

~pain

~angry dogs

~the dark

~death of a spouse

~divorce

~poverty

Americans' top 10 fears

According to the Boston Globe – +

1. Public speaking

2. Snakes

3. Confined spaces

4. Heights

5. Spiders

6. Tunnels and bridges

7. Crowds

8. Public transportation (especially airplanes)

9. Storms

10. Water (as in swimming and drowning)

What are some things that you are afraid of for your children?

Isolation

Unpopularity

Bullies

Child abduction

Death

Injury

Sexual abuse

Lost

Hit by a car

Bad life choices/drug, alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity with sexually transmitted disease, pregnancy.

Reject God

Heart Break

Not finding a husband or wife

Infertility

Drowning

What is the difference between anxiety and fear?

Anxiety

According to authors Kaplan and Sadock, anxiety is “a diffuse, unpleasant, vague sense of apprehension…” It is often a response to an imprecise or unknown threat. For example, imagine you’re walking down a dark street. You may feel a little uneasy and perhaps you have a few butterflies in your stomach. These sensations are caused by anxiety that is related to the possibility that a stranger may jump out from behind a bush, or approach you in some other way, and harm you. This anxiety is not the result of a known or specific threat. Rather it comes from your mind’s vision of the possible dangers that may result in the situation.

Fear

Fear is an emotional response to a known or definite threat. Using the scenario above, let’s say you’re walking down a dark street and someone points a gun at you and says, “This is a stick up.” This would likely elicit a response of fear. The danger is real, definite and immediate. There is a clear and present object of fear.

What is the source of fear?

I did a word study on the word fear and afraid in the Bible. The first time that the word afraid is used is in Genesis 3:10. Adam and Eve had sinned by eating the fruit and they hid from God because they were naked and ashamed.

Fear entered the world as a result of sin. Before that time because Adam and Eve were in complete communion with God they had no need to fear. There was perfect trust.

Is Fear ever a positive thing?

We are told to fear God, have a healthy respect for him. As children we may have feared our parents or teachers so that we obeyed their rules.

We fear what may happen to us if we break laws like speeding or not paying our taxes.

We fear the consequences of actions, like infidelity or lying or stealing.

So some fear is for our good. It helps us lead upright and Godly lives.

Sometimes fear can even help us guard our tongues. Fear that our gossip might get back to the person we want to talk about so we say nothing.

What are some negative impacts of fear?




How does fear impact our decision making and our actions?

(example of buying a house)

~Fear causes us to make rash decisions

Jacob tricked Esau to get his birthright and due to his fear of retaliation he fled to Haran.

Exodus 2:14 Moses killed an Egyptian and had to flee to Midian

~Fear causes us to rely on our own solutions

Genesis 20:1-13 Abraham does it again.

Lot’s daughters feared they wouldn’t meet anyone to matter so they took matters into their own hand. Genesis 19:30-36

~Fear causes us to doubt God

Saul, Israel’s first king. 1 Samuel 10:8/13:5-14.

~Fear causes us to keep silent when we should speak

Joseph and his brothers: Because of their jealousy they sold him into slavery and then when they discovered he was alive they were afraid he would retaliate. They also were afraid their sin would be revealed.

~Fear causes us to sin

Fear of Man: Genesis 12:10-20 Abraham was afraid that the Egyptians would kill him for his wife Sarah because of her beauty that he asked her to lie.

~Fear destroys our witness of God to the world.

Fear of Goliath (Philistines)

~Fear causes us to deny God.

Luke 22:54-62: Peter denies Jesus.

Not being the one in control.

Do you think that either anxiety or fear is a sin?

Is fear/anxiety the absence of faith?



Questions

Faith versus Fear

What were you afraid of when you were growing up?

What fears do you have concerning your children?

What is your greatest area of fear/concern today?

Spend time praying for what was just shared in question 3.

April 20th Roots vs. Wings Chapters 11 & 12

Roots Versus Wings

Chapters 11 and 12

How many women here have moved away from their families of origin?
Was that difficult to do?
How many wish they had moved away?


In chapter 11 Jean Fleming encourages us as moms to provide both “roots” and “wings.”


I think in the past year we have been discussing roots. Making your home a haven of security and encouragement provides stability and roots.
Children want and need boundaries. Even though they might fight us for control they ultimately don’t really want control. The most stable child is someone who has limits. Odd as it may seem, children are best able to exercise bravery and venture out of their comfort zones if they feel secure and have limits set for them.
Your job as a mom is to provide an atmosphere for growth.
The Wings part of this chapter goes back to things we have already discussed. Establishing an atmosphere of creativity.
She mentioned some pretty neat ideas:
Rainy day box
Kidnap your children
Treasure hunt
Theme dinners, p. 173.


I know what you are thinking, you can’t get the laundry washed, folded and put away. How are you going to have time for extra things like these creative ideas? This isn’t something you will do often, set a goal of maybe once a month. Include another family in the theme dinners and brainstorm together.


Speaking of brainstorming, let’s take a look at her brainstorming list on p. 176. Obviously your list will be different but the idea is to make a list. (Share Disney fund and Italy fund)

The following chapter 12 deals with mothering/living with difficult circumstances. Jean Fleming gives several examples of women living lives they never expected. I know when I speak to this number of women that there are bound to be some that are living lives they didn’t expect.

You may be dealing with:
~financial strain
~lack of family support
~husband that travels for work
~physical limitations
~depression
~working
~constant fatigue
~marital strain
~extended family illness/conflict/responsibilities
~child with asthma, chronic ear infections, sleep issues, eating issues, learning disabilities.


One thing I know for sure that if you are in a calm patch right now the chances are good that it won’t be true for long.
We are guaranteed to have trouble in this world aren’t we?
Jean Fleming says that God brings these circumstances into your life to better define your life, not to restrict it.
One thing I also know. Isaiah 40:11 says:

“He will tend his flock like a shepherd;

he will gather the lambs in his arms;

he will carry them in his bosom,

and gently lead those that are with young.
God cares about what you are carrying. He is your tender shepherd. He watches over you day and night. He knows what you need and is always available.

As a Shepherd He:
~Provides for you.


~Protects you.
~Prays for you.




Turn with me to Psalm 9:9,10

“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,

a stronghold in times of trouble.

¹⁰ And those who know your name put their trust in you,

for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” 

Stronghold
place of refuge or defense such as a mountain fortress, guard tower, or hideout
God is your refuge, your hideout.


He will not forsake (leave you).

Psalm 37:39:

“The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;

he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.

⁴⁰ The Lord helps them and delivers them;

he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,

because they take refuge in him.”

Psalm 46:1-3

“God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

² Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

³ though its waters roar and foam,

though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”  

John 16:33


³ I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”


PEACE as described here means:
Total well-being, prosperity, and security associated with God’s presence among his people.
Linked in the OT with the covenant, the presence of peace was conditional, based on Israel’s obedience.


In the NT, this longed-for peace is understood as having come in Christ and can be experienced by the believers.


During times of trouble/trials/tribulation/bad days God promises that
~He will never leave us
~He will protect us
~He will provide for us
~He will pray for us
~He will tenderly care for us
~He will give us peace


What is our role? What is our responsibility during times of stress or difficulty?


Turn with me to Romans 12:12-18:


   ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
   ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.






~ Be joyful in hope:
It is not our circumstances that enable us to have joy it is
  because our hope in Christ is the basis of our rejoicing.
 
~Patient in affliction:
steadfast, having endurance 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (turn there)
~Continue in prayer
for wisdom, guidance, and strength James 1:5 anyone who lacks wisdom let him ask, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
 
~Think of Others
and meet needs as God reveals them
often when we are hard pressed we are so focused on whatever is going on with ourselves we neglect to serve others and yet often serving others gives us an outlet and the perspective that we need.
   12:14-16.
Paul’s exhortations in this section relate to a believer’s reactions to the actions and emotions of others, whether Christians or not.


~Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (cf. Matt. 5:44). Perhaps Paul thought of Stephen (Acts 7:59-60) and of Jesus Christ (Luke 23:34). They both modeled these words and responded to persecution even to death by praying for God’s forgiveness of their persecutors.
~Empathize with others:
Christians and non Christians alike.


Paul commanded:
      Rejoice with those who rejoice;
      Mourn with those who mourn.
      Live in harmony with one another
      Do not be proud

      (lit., “not thinking highly” of yourself

Be willing to associate with people of low position  

Do not repay anyone evil for evil

Do what is right

      (kala, “beautiful,” used here in the ethical sense of good, noble, and honorable).

Live at peace with everyone

      (cf. “live in harmony with one another,” Rom. 12:16).

      But recognizing that limits exist, Paul included the words,

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you.  

Harmony with others may not always be achievable, but believers should not be responsible for that lack of peace (cf. Matt. 5:9).  

So if you are in a time of trial or testing remember that God is always present, ready to protect, guide, and provide.
As you focus and do your part through prayer and faith God will see you through.
Believe it, it’s true.

Questions

Chapters 11 and 12

What are you doing to give your children roots?

What ideas do you have for your brainstorming list?

What do you do that costs very little to make special days special?

What boundaries/circumstances has God placed in your life to define/refine you?

How have these been used as opportunities for growth?

What do you need most from God today?

March 16th- Being a Teacher at Home Pt. 3

Being a Teacher at Home

Part 3

Is this starting to feel overwhelming?

Sally Clarkson, in her book, The Mission of Motherhood helps break down how to stay focused on the important.

There are 2 things you need to know:

Know:
Your Purpose:

~Bring order to your home.

~Nurture Your Children

~Cultivate Relationships

~Grow in Maturity and Obedience to God

~Respect and Help Your Husband

Isn’t that helpful? This is like a God-given job description. In Genesis God tells Adam and Eve to have dominion over the earth (and the animals). That is your job~ to subdue your part of your world, bring order to your home.

~Nurture your children: bring them up in the fear and teaching of the Lord.

~Cultivate Relationships~ Jesus is the model, he placed a high value on relationships.

~Grow in Maturity and Obedience to God

~Respect and Help your Husband

Genesis 2:18 tells us to be help mates to our husbands and Ephesians 5:33 tells us to respect them.

Isn’t it helpful to have a job description? To know what your priorities should be?

Jean Fleming talks about this as well in A Mother’s Heart. On page 141 she shares her family priorities. (Read from page 141)Importance of Biblical Values.Sally Clarkson has also determined what values are important to her family. She believes these should be our priorities:
Teach them to think and reason Biblically The Importance of knowing the Bible yourself
Teach Morality Right from Wrong
Teach Who God is What a personal relationship with Christ is.
Teach Wisdom God’s view of things
Teach Faith Trusting in God’s reality and reliability.

So the first thing we need to know is our purpose, our job description and the second thing we need to know is:Know Your Provider:

~Faithfully Trust God

Of all the things you can impart to your children, this is the most important. This is eternal, this never fails. Be an example of faith to them.

Without being too preachy.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists.”

~Trust God’s Faithfulness

Regardless of your circumstances, you can trust God because He is a faithful God.

Now, as we have discussed. You cannot make your child choose God. That is ultimately his decision as it is for all of us. Jean Fleming says that we need to be careful with our zeal and enthusiasm to want them to accept Christ. If they want to please us, it may not be true conversion.

I would add here that if they want to rebel the most effective rebellion would be to reject what you hold most dear. So there is a balance. You need to be attentive to what is happening spiritually but you need to recognize that your best efforts won’t make your children Christians, only God can do that.

My advice?

Prayer

Numbers 32:23 “But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.

You know we have talked about the importance of picking your battles with your children. Knowing what it is that you consider important discipline issues. I shared with you last time that I needed to do this so I could separate my non-negotiables with my “preferences.”

Many of you asked me to elaborate on this, which leads us into the next chapter of A Mother’s Heart. Chapter 10, titled Teaching Through Discipline.

There are 2 purposes of Discipline from my perspective.

~to make a disciple

~to teach self-discipline

As you think about self-discipline/self-control people may fall into 3 categories.

Yes I am self-disciplined

No, I need to grow in this area

Or….I am self-disciplined in some areas but not in others.

Let’s take a look at the Book of Proverbs, written by Solomon, the wisest man who has ever lived.

Purpose for the Book of Proverbs: Read 1:1-7:

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2 for attaining wisdom and discipline;

for understanding words of insight;

3 for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,

doing what is right and just and fair;

4 for giving prudence to the simple,

knowledge and discretion to the young—

5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,

and let the discerning get guidance—

6 for understanding proverbs and parables,

the sayings and riddles of the wise.

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

but foolsa despise wisdom and discipline.

Wisdom (1:2–3). The Heb. root that expresses the basic concept of wisdom (h-k-m) occurs over 300 times in the O.T. It focuses our attention on a person’s basic approach to life, the values and commitments which find expression in his or her lifestyle. In the O.T., wisdom is essentially the choice to be godly. The wise person is sensitive to God, submits to Him, and applies God’s guidelines when making daily choices.

The person who is wise will “find the knowledge of God,” because God is the source of wisdom (2:5–6). God provides needed perspective, so that we “will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path” (2:9).

“Fear of the Lord” (1:7). This verse calls the fear of the Lord “the beginning of knowledge.” One rabbinic commentary on Proverbs reminds us that fear here is not dread, but “reverence of God expressed in submission to His will.” This is in fact the basic sense of “fear of the Lord” throughout the O.T., where it might often be rendered “reverential awe” or even “faith.

But why is fear of God the “beginning” or starting point? Because the conviction that God is—and is to be honored—the only door that opens to true wisdom. Only when all is oriented to the Lord can true moral knowledge or wisdom be gained.

The Bible says that God disciplines those He regards as sons. Discipline occurs because we love.

Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”

Proverbs 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to itself disgraces her mother.” (reaps destruction)

Heed your parents discipline/teaching that it may go well with you.

We discipline because we love and our ultimate goal is to produce adults that are self-disciplined so that they can follow God.

Steps to Discipline:

Remember the purpose of discipline is to teach and to train.

Our very first teaching when our children are little is for their safety. We teach them not to touch things that are hot or sharp. We teach them to stay with us when in public, we teach them to stop when we say stop when they are going towards the road. They need to learn to obey us.

As they get older we start to discipline for not only actions but heart attitudes.

We had 3 areas in our family that were non-negotiables.
Dishonor/Disrespect Eye rolling, sassy attitude/tongue
Direct Disobedience Delayed obedience is disobedience.
Dishonesty God hates a lying tongue

We disciplined for other things as well like unkindness, laziness, disrespect for possessions etc. but they weren’t “capital offenses.”

This is what Godly discipline looks like.
Make your expectations known and understood on their level
Make the consequences understood clearly. If then then that…
Until they get used to the fact that you mean business you may need to remind them once what will happen if they cross the line.
If discipline is required, it is done calmly and privately. You take them into another room, administer the discipline. Make certain they clearly understand what they have done. Pray with them and make them name their sin, remind them of God’s forgiveness and then love them. When it is over, it is over. Don’t hold it over their head, let it go.


Rules of Discipline: Consistency is the most important thing. Make your expectations very clear. Never discipline in anger. Name the sin.  Make prayer a part of the process.  Show LOVE!  Jean Fleming has some guidelines for discipline that are so good that they need mentioning:~Recognize the internal struggle. What is it about YOU that makes this particular behavior so difficult?A great question…..~Have realistic expectations~Be Consistent~Talk to your children: let them know ahead of time what the schedule is, give them warning as to when you will be leaving or how much longer they can play before picking up their toys. Give older children the ability to make some choices~Use praise and encouragement as often as possible to obtain the behavior you are looking for. But be sincere with it.~Follow through to ensure obedience.~Provide Diversions.~You must win Proverbs 29:17

“Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.”

March 2nd- To Be Teacher at Home Pt. 2

To Be Teacher at Home

Part 2

Last time we talked about the fact that you are your child/ren primary teacher. My hope is that you always will be. Regardless of the education method you choose, you should still be involved in their learning and education. It is a God mandated responsibility.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Teach your child when you sit and when you rise and when you walk along the road.

To re-cap what was said last time. To be an effective teacher you must:

Know your child/ren.

Evaluate each child individually

      Go to God in prayer about their education

   Importance of an Open Mind. 

   Model life long learning. 

Importance of reading

Importance of limiting TV and Computers 

The first step to being a teacher at home involves training.

What is the difference between teaching and training?

Teaching is imparting knowledge or ideas.

Training is practice of skills.  

What are some areas that we want to train our children?

This is where I suggest you take some time with your husband and decide what values are important to you as a family.

Here are some suggestions:

First and Foremost

Train in Obedience.

This is where it all begins. They must learn to obey, even when they may not want to.

God has given children 2 commands:

Honor your father and mother

This involves respect and appreciation.

 Exodus 20:12:

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Deuteronomy 5:16 

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you,  that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.”

Ephesians 6:1

“ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Honor speaks to attitude and Obedience speaks to actions.

~~Your job as a parent is to teach your children to honor and obey you.

You need to have both. You can make your child obey you but you also need their honor. They may do the right thing but have a bad attitude. This can be displayed by pouting, whining or sulking.

We will talk more about the purpose and “how to’s” of discipline when we discuss the next chapter.

Sally Clarkson in her book, Educating the Whole Hearted Child states that we need to help our children develop what she calls “mental muscles.”

The first Mental Muscle is:

Habits: A habit is the ability to act upon common duties or tasks without the necessity of deliberation. In other words, it becomes so ingrained it doesn’t require much thought.

What are some of your habits?

Developing good habits is a powerful tool toward righteous living.

Here are the habits that she emphasizes:

~Habit of Attention/Concentration:

One way to develop this habit is to make sure he is listening and not repeat what you say. If you continually repeat what you say, they won’t be as motivated to remember the first time.

Another way to develop this habit is through books. Start out with short books and increase the length of reading time. This will increase their attention span.

This is also why limiting TV/video/computer is so important. If they are continually exposed to 30 second sound bytes, you are training to a short attention span.

~Habit of Excellence:

You only affirm when you feel they have tried their very best. It isn’t the outcome you are praising but the diligence in effort.

~Habit of Orderliness/Neatness:

Train them to put away their toys.

~Habit of Truthfulness:

~Habit of Self-control:

The ability to govern ones thoughts or feelings.

~Habit of Diligence:

constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind.

Mental Muscle 2:

Appetites: Train your children’s appetites. Not just their physical appetites but their intellectual appetites as well. Avoid giving them “spiritual or intellectual junk food.”

Appetite for:

~Good Literature?

What are your favorite books?

What books have had a profound impact on your life?

Why do people that want to run for office write a book first? Like Profiles in Courage by John Kennedy, It takes a Village by Hillary Clinton and The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama.

Books are powerful. You can tell good literature from fluff. Good literature stays with you, influences the way you think and feel. It is timeless.

Books that help you pick good literature:

Honey for a Child’s Heart by Gladys Hunt

Books Children Love by Elizabeth Wilson

Books that Build Character by Kilpatrick

The Sonlight Curriculum catalog

Provide good books for your children. Weed out the fluff. Make going to the library a weekly event.

Take advantage of story time, even when they have a hard time sitting still. Make getting their own library card a big deal.

We have a saying at our house after a trip to the library, “We are rich with books.” Remind them that going to the library is a privilege.

When they are around 3 years old you can get the story books with cassette tapes with the beep sound to tell them when to turn the page and they can “read” all by themselves; a great quiet time activity.

~Art

Come Look with Me books and Draw Write Now.

~Music

Classical music should be a part of everyone’s diet as well as praise and worship.

Kids music that is good is:

Raffi: “Singable Songs for the Very Young” (Down by the Bay where the watermelon grows, up to my home I dare not go for if I do my mother will say, did you ever see a llama eating his pajamas down by the bay?

Steve Green: “Hide em in Your Heart” is great for scripture memory and teaching God’s truth.

“The Rainbow Kingdom” by Paul Tracey

Peter and the Wolf Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra/Carnival of the Animals, teaches children how to recognize the sounds that different instruments make in an orchestra.

Mental Muscle 3

Language:

      Create a Verbal Environment

Talk to them and listen to them.

Learn early to ask open ended questions.

Don’t just assume you know how they feel about something.

Don’t put words in their mouths. Ask questions like, “When Sara wouldn’t share with you, how did that make you feel?”

Read, Read, Read!!

The single most effective way to strengthen your child’s language is to read aloud to them. When they get older let them narrate what the story was about back to you. That helps them own the material and narration is the beginning of becoming a good writer.

Mental Muscle 4:

Creativity:

Ways you can inspire creativity:

~Read good books.

~Provide tools for creativity:

      Arts and crafts material,

      building blocks,

      legos, duplos,

      dress up outfits, don’t neglect the boys on this,

      tools, their own gardening equipment,

      cooking utensils,

      playdough,

      musical instruments.

How many of us can remember making forts out of old sheets or blankets and a table? Taking toys or games or books into the fort and spending a great hour in there?

Allow free time/Boredom

Time is needed for creativity and you need to make allowances for mess and noise.

Mental Muscle 5:

Curiousity:

God has instilled in all of us an innate thirst for knowledge.

Your job as a parent is to help your child to be a self-directed learner.

A self-directed learner

Think about this, you are not in school, getting no degree for any job and yet there are many things you may be curious about. What do you do with that curiosity? I recently saw the movie, Invictus about Nelson Mandela and was so fascinated by the story and the man that I got books from the library to read about his life.

So how does this happen?

Your child asks a question like, where do the stars go during the day? You answer the question and then the next time you go to the library you get a book about space that will interest them. Let them go a little deeper.

Take them into a closet with a flashlight and shut the door, let them see how dark it is, turn on the flashlight and let them see how bright the light is in the darkness. Now go into a bright room, turn on the flashlight, and explain that it is hard to see the light because of the brightness of the room. The light is still there, but unable to be seen.

Take it a step farther, sin is the darkness and living for God is the flashlight in the closet. It will be bright in the dark world. Tell them they want to be a flashlight for Jesus.

                                    Discussion Questions for Becoming A Teacher At Home

Part 2

What values do you want to impart to your child/ren?

Where do those values come from?

What is your favorite children’s book? Why?

Is it a challenge to resist the temptation of using the television as a babysitter?

Make a list of other things that you could use instead that would be less passive.

February 2 Chapter 9- Part 1 Teacher at Home

A  Mother’s Heart

Teacher at Home

Chapter 9

How many teachers do we have here by profession?

What makes a good teacher?

               

Patience, enthusiasm, mastery of subject, ability to use many teaching methods.

Has anyone had an unconventional education?

              

 Home schooled, boarding school, schooled in a foreign country?

Share: page 8, 22, 23  For The Children’s Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

In order to be an effective at home teacher we have some primary responsibilities:

1.  To know our child/ren.

     Evaluate each child individually

2.  To go to God in prayer about their education

     Importance of an Open Mind.

3. To model life long learning.

     Importance of reading

     Importance of limiting TV and Computers

4. To create an atmosphere of creativity and learning.

    Importance of nature

    Importance of music

    Importance of Art

    Importance of Books

    Importance of Boredom

5. To determine what values are important.

    Importance of Biblical Values.

    Sally Clarkson, in her book, The Mission of Motherhood has a chapter devoted to being a 

    teacher at home.

    

    This is what she says are foundational truths when teaching our children.

1.Teach them to think and reason Biblically

   The Importance of knowing the Bible yourself

                           

2.Teach Morality

   Right from Wrong

3.Teach Who God is

   What a personal relationship with Christ is.

4.Teach Wisdom

   God’s view of things

5.Teach Faith

   Trusting in God’s reality and reliability.

Questions

Chapter 9

A Mother’s Heart

Who was the best teacher you had and what made them a good teacher?

How did they impact your life?

What values are important to you to teach to your children?

Why are those values important?

Can you share a “teachable moment” you have had recently with your child?

Assignment for the next lesson:

 

For the next 2 weeks I would like you to think about what values you want to impart to your children and where those values come from.

I want you to make a list of things you want to pass on to your children and pray for teachable moments to share those values.

 

This is the foundation for all teaching and discipline. If you want to impart your world view you need to know what that is and where it comes from. 

What is the basis for your discipline? 

 What character qualities are important to you and why?

Evaluate your home, is it a place of learning and creativity. What more could you do to make it that way?

How much time is spent in God’s creation? Is that a high value for you?

January 19th Chapter 8 Part 2 Servant Leadership

Questions:

Read Matthew 20:25-28

What are the 2 leadership styles that Jesus describes? What leadership style do you prefer?
What heart attitude does servant leadership require?

Read Philippians 2:14,15

According to this verse, what are we to avoid in our lives?
What impact does choosing not to complain have on our children?
What heart change must take place for this to happen?

Becoming a Servant Leader

A Mother’s Heart

Chapter 8
Has anyone here ever worked as a waitress?
What makes a good waitress (servant)?

Friendly, approachable, non-complaining, anticipates needs, keeps an eye on her tables, knows the menu and how things are prepared.

What do you think when you hear the word servant?

Does it have a positive or negative connotation?

Read John 15:12-17

“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. 10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. 16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”

“Love each other” (15:12–17). The key to an abiding relationship with Christ is “obedience.” The key to relationship with other believers is “love.”

Love is laying down our lives for others

Laying down our rights

Laying down our expectations

Whenever I talk about servanthood and laying down our lives for others, inevitably someone will discuss boundaries and how much is too much? Can there be too much? I know I have been in situations that you feel like if you continue to serve this person you will be nothing more than a doormat. Is that OK, or do you need to stand up for yourself? Isn’t it our job to teach our children to be servants also? How about our husband, if we constantly serve him aren’t we enabling him to treat us disrespectfully?

And yet God gives us so many examples in His word where people have done just that. Served. Starting with Jesus who came not to be served but to be a servant of many.

When we are discussing surrender and expectations I think of Mary the mother of Jesus and how the angel of the Lord came to her and blew away her plans for her life. This 14 or 15 year old young woman has this to say:

Luke 1:38 Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.

If we are to fully love as Jesus did, we are to die for others

Die to Oneself

Our rights

Our expectations

Jean Fleming struggled with dying to self:

She made a list of what bothered her most about being a mother.

What would be on your list?

Jean Flemings list:

Demands on my time

Serving over and over

Never finishing my work

Frustration over not knowing what is right re:discipline

No time to pursue my interests

Ways to show Love:

Affection:
Verbal love
Praise
Love notes

Be as specific as you can. Compliment a budding character quality, an act of service, a time they didn’t “repay evil for evil.”

When you speak about them to others speak of them as blessings not burdens. They listen when you speak even if you don’t realize it.

Don’t fall into the complaining track. Let them know how happy you are to be their mother.

Respect:

Listen to them:
Allow them to have their own opinions even if they differ from yours.
Accept them as the way God made them
Their interests and abilities
Be available to them when they want to talk.

Use restraint when faced with problems, allow them to decide what should be done, don’t intervene too quickly.
***Caution use of electronics particularly in the car***

Play:

Has great value in building relationship with your child.

Great opportunity for teaching, if you are having trouble with sharing play puppets or doll house and role play, if you want to teach kindness same thing.

Plan for them:

Put effort into the relationship, plan things they would enjoy, when they are old enough, dream dreams with them. Even if you think their ideas aren’t practical, let them dream anyway. Keep reminding them that with God all things are possible and if He wants that dream to become reality, He will help them achieve it.

Forgive them/Ask them to Forgive You:
Ephesians 4:31,32

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

Don’t make your child/ren pay over and over for something they have done. Model forgiveness and forgetfulness. Don’t label them, accept that they will grow and change.

Matthew 6:14+15

14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

This is not a condition for our salvation; the idea here is that because you have been forgiven you are more ready to forgive.

Comfort Them

Don’t ever laugh or make fun of them when they are hurt. Be very matter of fact about it but try to enter in to what they are feeling.

(Don’t however enter into it too much, esp. with interpersonal relationships~don’t take up offenses for them, talk to them about what Jesus would expect them to do in situations like that.

Encourage Them

Be a cheerleader for them but be genuine about their strengths and weaknesses.

I loved Jean Fleming’s illustration on pages 128 and 129 because it beautifully illustrates what motherhood is all about.

January 5th Chapter 8 Part 1

Questions:

What do we learn about Christ's love through the example of Jesus Christ?



Briefly look at 1 Corinthians 13. What part/parts of this love chapter do you struggle with most?



What personal characteristics (selfishness, anger, self-pity, impatience, etc.) often keep you from showing love to others?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (New International Version)

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

We all have a desire to be loved.

We all have a desire to love.

How do you define the word love?

Love is a decision. Love is a verb.

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Love is not rude, or sarcasm. God sees it all. Love is not easily provoked, Love does not keep score.

If you're stretched beyond your limits, because that's exactly where God wants you to be. If you're doing everything in your own sufficiency you're not where God wants you to be.

Extending forgiveness to family members who are hard to love, this is love.

Love does not delight in evil...it protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres.

1 John 3:18

¹⁸Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

Jesus was loving, sacrificing when he went to the cross.

Application: Befriend someone, not like you for the purpose of showing love.

Come back on Jan. 19th for Part 2.