March 16th- Being a Teacher at Home Pt. 3

Being a Teacher at Home

Part 3

Is this starting to feel overwhelming?

Sally Clarkson, in her book, The Mission of Motherhood helps break down how to stay focused on the important.

There are 2 things you need to know:

Know:
Your Purpose:

~Bring order to your home.

~Nurture Your Children

~Cultivate Relationships

~Grow in Maturity and Obedience to God

~Respect and Help Your Husband

Isn’t that helpful? This is like a God-given job description. In Genesis God tells Adam and Eve to have dominion over the earth (and the animals). That is your job~ to subdue your part of your world, bring order to your home.

~Nurture your children: bring them up in the fear and teaching of the Lord.

~Cultivate Relationships~ Jesus is the model, he placed a high value on relationships.

~Grow in Maturity and Obedience to God

~Respect and Help your Husband

Genesis 2:18 tells us to be help mates to our husbands and Ephesians 5:33 tells us to respect them.

Isn’t it helpful to have a job description? To know what your priorities should be?

Jean Fleming talks about this as well in A Mother’s Heart. On page 141 she shares her family priorities. (Read from page 141)Importance of Biblical Values.Sally Clarkson has also determined what values are important to her family. She believes these should be our priorities:
Teach them to think and reason Biblically The Importance of knowing the Bible yourself
Teach Morality Right from Wrong
Teach Who God is What a personal relationship with Christ is.
Teach Wisdom God’s view of things
Teach Faith Trusting in God’s reality and reliability.

So the first thing we need to know is our purpose, our job description and the second thing we need to know is:Know Your Provider:

~Faithfully Trust God

Of all the things you can impart to your children, this is the most important. This is eternal, this never fails. Be an example of faith to them.

Without being too preachy.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists.”

~Trust God’s Faithfulness

Regardless of your circumstances, you can trust God because He is a faithful God.

Now, as we have discussed. You cannot make your child choose God. That is ultimately his decision as it is for all of us. Jean Fleming says that we need to be careful with our zeal and enthusiasm to want them to accept Christ. If they want to please us, it may not be true conversion.

I would add here that if they want to rebel the most effective rebellion would be to reject what you hold most dear. So there is a balance. You need to be attentive to what is happening spiritually but you need to recognize that your best efforts won’t make your children Christians, only God can do that.

My advice?

Prayer

Numbers 32:23 “But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.

You know we have talked about the importance of picking your battles with your children. Knowing what it is that you consider important discipline issues. I shared with you last time that I needed to do this so I could separate my non-negotiables with my “preferences.”

Many of you asked me to elaborate on this, which leads us into the next chapter of A Mother’s Heart. Chapter 10, titled Teaching Through Discipline.

There are 2 purposes of Discipline from my perspective.

~to make a disciple

~to teach self-discipline

As you think about self-discipline/self-control people may fall into 3 categories.

Yes I am self-disciplined

No, I need to grow in this area

Or….I am self-disciplined in some areas but not in others.

Let’s take a look at the Book of Proverbs, written by Solomon, the wisest man who has ever lived.

Purpose for the Book of Proverbs: Read 1:1-7:

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2 for attaining wisdom and discipline;

for understanding words of insight;

3 for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,

doing what is right and just and fair;

4 for giving prudence to the simple,

knowledge and discretion to the young—

5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,

and let the discerning get guidance—

6 for understanding proverbs and parables,

the sayings and riddles of the wise.

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

but foolsa despise wisdom and discipline.

Wisdom (1:2–3). The Heb. root that expresses the basic concept of wisdom (h-k-m) occurs over 300 times in the O.T. It focuses our attention on a person’s basic approach to life, the values and commitments which find expression in his or her lifestyle. In the O.T., wisdom is essentially the choice to be godly. The wise person is sensitive to God, submits to Him, and applies God’s guidelines when making daily choices.

The person who is wise will “find the knowledge of God,” because God is the source of wisdom (2:5–6). God provides needed perspective, so that we “will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path” (2:9).

“Fear of the Lord” (1:7). This verse calls the fear of the Lord “the beginning of knowledge.” One rabbinic commentary on Proverbs reminds us that fear here is not dread, but “reverence of God expressed in submission to His will.” This is in fact the basic sense of “fear of the Lord” throughout the O.T., where it might often be rendered “reverential awe” or even “faith.

But why is fear of God the “beginning” or starting point? Because the conviction that God is—and is to be honored—the only door that opens to true wisdom. Only when all is oriented to the Lord can true moral knowledge or wisdom be gained.

The Bible says that God disciplines those He regards as sons. Discipline occurs because we love.

Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”

Proverbs 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to itself disgraces her mother.” (reaps destruction)

Heed your parents discipline/teaching that it may go well with you.

We discipline because we love and our ultimate goal is to produce adults that are self-disciplined so that they can follow God.

Steps to Discipline:

Remember the purpose of discipline is to teach and to train.

Our very first teaching when our children are little is for their safety. We teach them not to touch things that are hot or sharp. We teach them to stay with us when in public, we teach them to stop when we say stop when they are going towards the road. They need to learn to obey us.

As they get older we start to discipline for not only actions but heart attitudes.

We had 3 areas in our family that were non-negotiables.
Dishonor/Disrespect Eye rolling, sassy attitude/tongue
Direct Disobedience Delayed obedience is disobedience.
Dishonesty God hates a lying tongue

We disciplined for other things as well like unkindness, laziness, disrespect for possessions etc. but they weren’t “capital offenses.”

This is what Godly discipline looks like.
Make your expectations known and understood on their level
Make the consequences understood clearly. If then then that…
Until they get used to the fact that you mean business you may need to remind them once what will happen if they cross the line.
If discipline is required, it is done calmly and privately. You take them into another room, administer the discipline. Make certain they clearly understand what they have done. Pray with them and make them name their sin, remind them of God’s forgiveness and then love them. When it is over, it is over. Don’t hold it over their head, let it go.


Rules of Discipline: Consistency is the most important thing. Make your expectations very clear. Never discipline in anger. Name the sin.  Make prayer a part of the process.  Show LOVE!  Jean Fleming has some guidelines for discipline that are so good that they need mentioning:~Recognize the internal struggle. What is it about YOU that makes this particular behavior so difficult?A great question…..~Have realistic expectations~Be Consistent~Talk to your children: let them know ahead of time what the schedule is, give them warning as to when you will be leaving or how much longer they can play before picking up their toys. Give older children the ability to make some choices~Use praise and encouragement as often as possible to obtain the behavior you are looking for. But be sincere with it.~Follow through to ensure obedience.~Provide Diversions.~You must win Proverbs 29:17

“Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.”

No Bible Study March 30th

Hi Ladies,

I just wanted to send an email to let you all know that we will not be having Bible Study on March 30th. I just realized that is the week leading up to Easter and I want you all and myself to be able to focus on the special services that week.

If you have never been to Loudonville Easter week services, I highly encourage you to attend. They are truly special and help keep what Easter is all about in focus.

March 2nd- To Be Teacher at Home Pt. 2

To Be Teacher at Home

Part 2

Last time we talked about the fact that you are your child/ren primary teacher. My hope is that you always will be. Regardless of the education method you choose, you should still be involved in their learning and education. It is a God mandated responsibility.

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

Teach your child when you sit and when you rise and when you walk along the road.

To re-cap what was said last time. To be an effective teacher you must:

Know your child/ren.

Evaluate each child individually

      Go to God in prayer about their education

   Importance of an Open Mind. 

   Model life long learning. 

Importance of reading

Importance of limiting TV and Computers 

The first step to being a teacher at home involves training.

What is the difference between teaching and training?

Teaching is imparting knowledge or ideas.

Training is practice of skills.  

What are some areas that we want to train our children?

This is where I suggest you take some time with your husband and decide what values are important to you as a family.

Here are some suggestions:

First and Foremost

Train in Obedience.

This is where it all begins. They must learn to obey, even when they may not want to.

God has given children 2 commands:

Honor your father and mother

This involves respect and appreciation.

 Exodus 20:12:

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.

Deuteronomy 5:16 

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you,  that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the Lord your God gives you.”

Ephesians 6:1

“ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

Honor speaks to attitude and Obedience speaks to actions.

~~Your job as a parent is to teach your children to honor and obey you.

You need to have both. You can make your child obey you but you also need their honor. They may do the right thing but have a bad attitude. This can be displayed by pouting, whining or sulking.

We will talk more about the purpose and “how to’s” of discipline when we discuss the next chapter.

Sally Clarkson in her book, Educating the Whole Hearted Child states that we need to help our children develop what she calls “mental muscles.”

The first Mental Muscle is:

Habits: A habit is the ability to act upon common duties or tasks without the necessity of deliberation. In other words, it becomes so ingrained it doesn’t require much thought.

What are some of your habits?

Developing good habits is a powerful tool toward righteous living.

Here are the habits that she emphasizes:

~Habit of Attention/Concentration:

One way to develop this habit is to make sure he is listening and not repeat what you say. If you continually repeat what you say, they won’t be as motivated to remember the first time.

Another way to develop this habit is through books. Start out with short books and increase the length of reading time. This will increase their attention span.

This is also why limiting TV/video/computer is so important. If they are continually exposed to 30 second sound bytes, you are training to a short attention span.

~Habit of Excellence:

You only affirm when you feel they have tried their very best. It isn’t the outcome you are praising but the diligence in effort.

~Habit of Orderliness/Neatness:

Train them to put away their toys.

~Habit of Truthfulness:

~Habit of Self-control:

The ability to govern ones thoughts or feelings.

~Habit of Diligence:

constant and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind.

Mental Muscle 2:

Appetites: Train your children’s appetites. Not just their physical appetites but their intellectual appetites as well. Avoid giving them “spiritual or intellectual junk food.”

Appetite for:

~Good Literature?

What are your favorite books?

What books have had a profound impact on your life?

Why do people that want to run for office write a book first? Like Profiles in Courage by John Kennedy, It takes a Village by Hillary Clinton and The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama.

Books are powerful. You can tell good literature from fluff. Good literature stays with you, influences the way you think and feel. It is timeless.

Books that help you pick good literature:

Honey for a Child’s Heart by Gladys Hunt

Books Children Love by Elizabeth Wilson

Books that Build Character by Kilpatrick

The Sonlight Curriculum catalog

Provide good books for your children. Weed out the fluff. Make going to the library a weekly event.

Take advantage of story time, even when they have a hard time sitting still. Make getting their own library card a big deal.

We have a saying at our house after a trip to the library, “We are rich with books.” Remind them that going to the library is a privilege.

When they are around 3 years old you can get the story books with cassette tapes with the beep sound to tell them when to turn the page and they can “read” all by themselves; a great quiet time activity.

~Art

Come Look with Me books and Draw Write Now.

~Music

Classical music should be a part of everyone’s diet as well as praise and worship.

Kids music that is good is:

Raffi: “Singable Songs for the Very Young” (Down by the Bay where the watermelon grows, up to my home I dare not go for if I do my mother will say, did you ever see a llama eating his pajamas down by the bay?

Steve Green: “Hide em in Your Heart” is great for scripture memory and teaching God’s truth.

“The Rainbow Kingdom” by Paul Tracey

Peter and the Wolf Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra/Carnival of the Animals, teaches children how to recognize the sounds that different instruments make in an orchestra.

Mental Muscle 3

Language:

      Create a Verbal Environment

Talk to them and listen to them.

Learn early to ask open ended questions.

Don’t just assume you know how they feel about something.

Don’t put words in their mouths. Ask questions like, “When Sara wouldn’t share with you, how did that make you feel?”

Read, Read, Read!!

The single most effective way to strengthen your child’s language is to read aloud to them. When they get older let them narrate what the story was about back to you. That helps them own the material and narration is the beginning of becoming a good writer.

Mental Muscle 4:

Creativity:

Ways you can inspire creativity:

~Read good books.

~Provide tools for creativity:

      Arts and crafts material,

      building blocks,

      legos, duplos,

      dress up outfits, don’t neglect the boys on this,

      tools, their own gardening equipment,

      cooking utensils,

      playdough,

      musical instruments.

How many of us can remember making forts out of old sheets or blankets and a table? Taking toys or games or books into the fort and spending a great hour in there?

Allow free time/Boredom

Time is needed for creativity and you need to make allowances for mess and noise.

Mental Muscle 5:

Curiousity:

God has instilled in all of us an innate thirst for knowledge.

Your job as a parent is to help your child to be a self-directed learner.

A self-directed learner

Think about this, you are not in school, getting no degree for any job and yet there are many things you may be curious about. What do you do with that curiosity? I recently saw the movie, Invictus about Nelson Mandela and was so fascinated by the story and the man that I got books from the library to read about his life.

So how does this happen?

Your child asks a question like, where do the stars go during the day? You answer the question and then the next time you go to the library you get a book about space that will interest them. Let them go a little deeper.

Take them into a closet with a flashlight and shut the door, let them see how dark it is, turn on the flashlight and let them see how bright the light is in the darkness. Now go into a bright room, turn on the flashlight, and explain that it is hard to see the light because of the brightness of the room. The light is still there, but unable to be seen.

Take it a step farther, sin is the darkness and living for God is the flashlight in the closet. It will be bright in the dark world. Tell them they want to be a flashlight for Jesus.

                                    Discussion Questions for Becoming A Teacher At Home

Part 2

What values do you want to impart to your child/ren?

Where do those values come from?

What is your favorite children’s book? Why?

Is it a challenge to resist the temptation of using the television as a babysitter?

Make a list of other things that you could use instead that would be less passive.

Bible Study Dates

Bible Study this month is March 2nd, 16th and 30th. I am teaching on the 30th even though it is a 5th Tuesday because there is not Bible Study on April 6th due to April break.- Cindy