March 16th- Being a Teacher at Home Pt. 3

Being a Teacher at Home

Part 3

Is this starting to feel overwhelming?

Sally Clarkson, in her book, The Mission of Motherhood helps break down how to stay focused on the important.

There are 2 things you need to know:

Know:
Your Purpose:

~Bring order to your home.

~Nurture Your Children

~Cultivate Relationships

~Grow in Maturity and Obedience to God

~Respect and Help Your Husband

Isn’t that helpful? This is like a God-given job description. In Genesis God tells Adam and Eve to have dominion over the earth (and the animals). That is your job~ to subdue your part of your world, bring order to your home.

~Nurture your children: bring them up in the fear and teaching of the Lord.

~Cultivate Relationships~ Jesus is the model, he placed a high value on relationships.

~Grow in Maturity and Obedience to God

~Respect and Help your Husband

Genesis 2:18 tells us to be help mates to our husbands and Ephesians 5:33 tells us to respect them.

Isn’t it helpful to have a job description? To know what your priorities should be?

Jean Fleming talks about this as well in A Mother’s Heart. On page 141 she shares her family priorities. (Read from page 141)Importance of Biblical Values.Sally Clarkson has also determined what values are important to her family. She believes these should be our priorities:
Teach them to think and reason Biblically The Importance of knowing the Bible yourself
Teach Morality Right from Wrong
Teach Who God is What a personal relationship with Christ is.
Teach Wisdom God’s view of things
Teach Faith Trusting in God’s reality and reliability.

So the first thing we need to know is our purpose, our job description and the second thing we need to know is:Know Your Provider:

~Faithfully Trust God

Of all the things you can impart to your children, this is the most important. This is eternal, this never fails. Be an example of faith to them.

Without being too preachy.

Hebrews 11:6 says, “without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists.”

~Trust God’s Faithfulness

Regardless of your circumstances, you can trust God because He is a faithful God.

Now, as we have discussed. You cannot make your child choose God. That is ultimately his decision as it is for all of us. Jean Fleming says that we need to be careful with our zeal and enthusiasm to want them to accept Christ. If they want to please us, it may not be true conversion.

I would add here that if they want to rebel the most effective rebellion would be to reject what you hold most dear. So there is a balance. You need to be attentive to what is happening spiritually but you need to recognize that your best efforts won’t make your children Christians, only God can do that.

My advice?

Prayer

Numbers 32:23 “But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.

You know we have talked about the importance of picking your battles with your children. Knowing what it is that you consider important discipline issues. I shared with you last time that I needed to do this so I could separate my non-negotiables with my “preferences.”

Many of you asked me to elaborate on this, which leads us into the next chapter of A Mother’s Heart. Chapter 10, titled Teaching Through Discipline.

There are 2 purposes of Discipline from my perspective.

~to make a disciple

~to teach self-discipline

As you think about self-discipline/self-control people may fall into 3 categories.

Yes I am self-disciplined

No, I need to grow in this area

Or….I am self-disciplined in some areas but not in others.

Let’s take a look at the Book of Proverbs, written by Solomon, the wisest man who has ever lived.

Purpose for the Book of Proverbs: Read 1:1-7:

The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel:

2 for attaining wisdom and discipline;

for understanding words of insight;

3 for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life,

doing what is right and just and fair;

4 for giving prudence to the simple,

knowledge and discretion to the young—

5 let the wise listen and add to their learning,

and let the discerning get guidance—

6 for understanding proverbs and parables,

the sayings and riddles of the wise.

7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,

but foolsa despise wisdom and discipline.

Wisdom (1:2–3). The Heb. root that expresses the basic concept of wisdom (h-k-m) occurs over 300 times in the O.T. It focuses our attention on a person’s basic approach to life, the values and commitments which find expression in his or her lifestyle. In the O.T., wisdom is essentially the choice to be godly. The wise person is sensitive to God, submits to Him, and applies God’s guidelines when making daily choices.

The person who is wise will “find the knowledge of God,” because God is the source of wisdom (2:5–6). God provides needed perspective, so that we “will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path” (2:9).

“Fear of the Lord” (1:7). This verse calls the fear of the Lord “the beginning of knowledge.” One rabbinic commentary on Proverbs reminds us that fear here is not dread, but “reverence of God expressed in submission to His will.” This is in fact the basic sense of “fear of the Lord” throughout the O.T., where it might often be rendered “reverential awe” or even “faith.

But why is fear of God the “beginning” or starting point? Because the conviction that God is—and is to be honored—the only door that opens to true wisdom. Only when all is oriented to the Lord can true moral knowledge or wisdom be gained.

The Bible says that God disciplines those He regards as sons. Discipline occurs because we love.

Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”

Proverbs 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to itself disgraces her mother.” (reaps destruction)

Heed your parents discipline/teaching that it may go well with you.

We discipline because we love and our ultimate goal is to produce adults that are self-disciplined so that they can follow God.

Steps to Discipline:

Remember the purpose of discipline is to teach and to train.

Our very first teaching when our children are little is for their safety. We teach them not to touch things that are hot or sharp. We teach them to stay with us when in public, we teach them to stop when we say stop when they are going towards the road. They need to learn to obey us.

As they get older we start to discipline for not only actions but heart attitudes.

We had 3 areas in our family that were non-negotiables.
Dishonor/Disrespect Eye rolling, sassy attitude/tongue
Direct Disobedience Delayed obedience is disobedience.
Dishonesty God hates a lying tongue

We disciplined for other things as well like unkindness, laziness, disrespect for possessions etc. but they weren’t “capital offenses.”

This is what Godly discipline looks like.
Make your expectations known and understood on their level
Make the consequences understood clearly. If then then that…
Until they get used to the fact that you mean business you may need to remind them once what will happen if they cross the line.
If discipline is required, it is done calmly and privately. You take them into another room, administer the discipline. Make certain they clearly understand what they have done. Pray with them and make them name their sin, remind them of God’s forgiveness and then love them. When it is over, it is over. Don’t hold it over their head, let it go.


Rules of Discipline: Consistency is the most important thing. Make your expectations very clear. Never discipline in anger. Name the sin.  Make prayer a part of the process.  Show LOVE!  Jean Fleming has some guidelines for discipline that are so good that they need mentioning:~Recognize the internal struggle. What is it about YOU that makes this particular behavior so difficult?A great question…..~Have realistic expectations~Be Consistent~Talk to your children: let them know ahead of time what the schedule is, give them warning as to when you will be leaving or how much longer they can play before picking up their toys. Give older children the ability to make some choices~Use praise and encouragement as often as possible to obtain the behavior you are looking for. But be sincere with it.~Follow through to ensure obedience.~Provide Diversions.~You must win Proverbs 29:17

“Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.”