Questions:
Read Matthew 20:25-28
What are the 2 leadership styles that Jesus describes? What leadership style do you prefer?
What heart attitude does servant leadership require?
Read Philippians 2:14,15
According to this verse, what are we to avoid in our lives?
What impact does choosing not to complain have on our children?
What heart change must take place for this to happen?
Becoming a Servant Leader
A Mother’s Heart
Chapter 8
Has anyone here ever worked as a waitress?
What makes a good waitress (servant)?
Friendly, approachable, non-complaining, anticipates needs, keeps an eye on her tables, knows the menu and how things are prepared.
What do you think when you hear the word servant?
Does it have a positive or negative connotation?
Read John 15:12-17
“I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. 10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. 11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! 12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. 16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
“Love each other” (15:12–17). The key to an abiding relationship with Christ is “obedience.” The key to relationship with other believers is “love.”
Love is laying down our lives for others
Laying down our rights
Laying down our expectations
Whenever I talk about servanthood and laying down our lives for others, inevitably someone will discuss boundaries and how much is too much? Can there be too much? I know I have been in situations that you feel like if you continue to serve this person you will be nothing more than a doormat. Is that OK, or do you need to stand up for yourself? Isn’t it our job to teach our children to be servants also? How about our husband, if we constantly serve him aren’t we enabling him to treat us disrespectfully?
And yet God gives us so many examples in His word where people have done just that. Served. Starting with Jesus who came not to be served but to be a servant of many.
When we are discussing surrender and expectations I think of Mary the mother of Jesus and how the angel of the Lord came to her and blew away her plans for her life. This 14 or 15 year old young woman has this to say:
Luke 1:38 Mary responded, “I am the Lord’s servant. May everything you have said about me come true.” And then the angel left her.
If we are to fully love as Jesus did, we are to die for others
Die to Oneself
Our rights
Our expectations
Jean Fleming struggled with dying to self:
She made a list of what bothered her most about being a mother.
What would be on your list?
Jean Flemings list:
Demands on my time
Serving over and over
Never finishing my work
Frustration over not knowing what is right re:discipline
No time to pursue my interests
Ways to show Love:
Affection:
Verbal love
Praise
Love notes
Be as specific as you can. Compliment a budding character quality, an act of service, a time they didn’t “repay evil for evil.”
When you speak about them to others speak of them as blessings not burdens. They listen when you speak even if you don’t realize it.
Don’t fall into the complaining track. Let them know how happy you are to be their mother.
Respect:
Listen to them:
Allow them to have their own opinions even if they differ from yours.
Accept them as the way God made them
Their interests and abilities
Be available to them when they want to talk.
Use restraint when faced with problems, allow them to decide what should be done, don’t intervene too quickly.
***Caution use of electronics particularly in the car***
Play:
Has great value in building relationship with your child.
Great opportunity for teaching, if you are having trouble with sharing play puppets or doll house and role play, if you want to teach kindness same thing.
Plan for them:
Put effort into the relationship, plan things they would enjoy, when they are old enough, dream dreams with them. Even if you think their ideas aren’t practical, let them dream anyway. Keep reminding them that with God all things are possible and if He wants that dream to become reality, He will help them achieve it.
Forgive them/Ask them to Forgive You:
Ephesians 4:31,32
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Don’t make your child/ren pay over and over for something they have done. Model forgiveness and forgetfulness. Don’t label them, accept that they will grow and change.
Matthew 6:14+15
14 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. 15 But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
This is not a condition for our salvation; the idea here is that because you have been forgiven you are more ready to forgive.
Comfort Them
Don’t ever laugh or make fun of them when they are hurt. Be very matter of fact about it but try to enter in to what they are feeling.
(Don’t however enter into it too much, esp. with interpersonal relationships~don’t take up offenses for them, talk to them about what Jesus would expect them to do in situations like that.
Encourage Them
Be a cheerleader for them but be genuine about their strengths and weaknesses.
I loved Jean Fleming’s illustration on pages 128 and 129 because it beautifully illustrates what motherhood is all about.
4 comments:
This is awesome!! I was disappointed that I had to miss bible study today, but now I can catch up. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
Thank you for this. I'm so excited to be able to keep up even when I can't make the meetings.
This is such a great idea, now if we need to be home with sick children at least we don't need to miss all that excellent Bible teaching from Cindy! You've done an excellent job Winnie! :)
Jen
Thank you, Winnie and Cindy! This talk really encouraged me. Sometimes I'm not good about enforcing my boundaries. But they are necessary. Whenever I let me boundaries get trampled, I find myself resentful and I feel used. This was a good reminder. I was also reminded of the fact that I can do more and my boundaries can be flexible if I am guarding my time with Jesus and letting my cup be filled by Him. That is really the only way to be a cheerful servant. I know I can't do it alone. This was a great talk.
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