April 20th Roots vs. Wings Chapters 11 & 12

Roots Versus Wings

Chapters 11 and 12

How many women here have moved away from their families of origin?
Was that difficult to do?
How many wish they had moved away?


In chapter 11 Jean Fleming encourages us as moms to provide both “roots” and “wings.”


I think in the past year we have been discussing roots. Making your home a haven of security and encouragement provides stability and roots.
Children want and need boundaries. Even though they might fight us for control they ultimately don’t really want control. The most stable child is someone who has limits. Odd as it may seem, children are best able to exercise bravery and venture out of their comfort zones if they feel secure and have limits set for them.
Your job as a mom is to provide an atmosphere for growth.
The Wings part of this chapter goes back to things we have already discussed. Establishing an atmosphere of creativity.
She mentioned some pretty neat ideas:
Rainy day box
Kidnap your children
Treasure hunt
Theme dinners, p. 173.


I know what you are thinking, you can’t get the laundry washed, folded and put away. How are you going to have time for extra things like these creative ideas? This isn’t something you will do often, set a goal of maybe once a month. Include another family in the theme dinners and brainstorm together.


Speaking of brainstorming, let’s take a look at her brainstorming list on p. 176. Obviously your list will be different but the idea is to make a list. (Share Disney fund and Italy fund)

The following chapter 12 deals with mothering/living with difficult circumstances. Jean Fleming gives several examples of women living lives they never expected. I know when I speak to this number of women that there are bound to be some that are living lives they didn’t expect.

You may be dealing with:
~financial strain
~lack of family support
~husband that travels for work
~physical limitations
~depression
~working
~constant fatigue
~marital strain
~extended family illness/conflict/responsibilities
~child with asthma, chronic ear infections, sleep issues, eating issues, learning disabilities.


One thing I know for sure that if you are in a calm patch right now the chances are good that it won’t be true for long.
We are guaranteed to have trouble in this world aren’t we?
Jean Fleming says that God brings these circumstances into your life to better define your life, not to restrict it.
One thing I also know. Isaiah 40:11 says:

“He will tend his flock like a shepherd;

he will gather the lambs in his arms;

he will carry them in his bosom,

and gently lead those that are with young.
God cares about what you are carrying. He is your tender shepherd. He watches over you day and night. He knows what you need and is always available.

As a Shepherd He:
~Provides for you.


~Protects you.
~Prays for you.




Turn with me to Psalm 9:9,10

“The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,

a stronghold in times of trouble.

¹⁰ And those who know your name put their trust in you,

for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” 

Stronghold
place of refuge or defense such as a mountain fortress, guard tower, or hideout
God is your refuge, your hideout.


He will not forsake (leave you).

Psalm 37:39:

“The salvation of the righteous is from the Lord;

he is their stronghold in the time of trouble.

⁴⁰ The Lord helps them and delivers them;

he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,

because they take refuge in him.”

Psalm 46:1-3

“God is our refuge and strength,

a very present help in trouble.

² Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,

though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,

³ though its waters roar and foam,

though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”  

John 16:33


³ I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”


PEACE as described here means:
Total well-being, prosperity, and security associated with God’s presence among his people.
Linked in the OT with the covenant, the presence of peace was conditional, based on Israel’s obedience.


In the NT, this longed-for peace is understood as having come in Christ and can be experienced by the believers.


During times of trouble/trials/tribulation/bad days God promises that
~He will never leave us
~He will protect us
~He will provide for us
~He will pray for us
~He will tenderly care for us
~He will give us peace


What is our role? What is our responsibility during times of stress or difficulty?


Turn with me to Romans 12:12-18:


   ¹² Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. ¹³ Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
   ¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. ¹⁷ Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.






~ Be joyful in hope:
It is not our circumstances that enable us to have joy it is
  because our hope in Christ is the basis of our rejoicing.
 
~Patient in affliction:
steadfast, having endurance 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (turn there)
~Continue in prayer
for wisdom, guidance, and strength James 1:5 anyone who lacks wisdom let him ask, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
 
~Think of Others
and meet needs as God reveals them
often when we are hard pressed we are so focused on whatever is going on with ourselves we neglect to serve others and yet often serving others gives us an outlet and the perspective that we need.
   12:14-16.
Paul’s exhortations in this section relate to a believer’s reactions to the actions and emotions of others, whether Christians or not.


~Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse (cf. Matt. 5:44). Perhaps Paul thought of Stephen (Acts 7:59-60) and of Jesus Christ (Luke 23:34). They both modeled these words and responded to persecution even to death by praying for God’s forgiveness of their persecutors.
~Empathize with others:
Christians and non Christians alike.


Paul commanded:
      Rejoice with those who rejoice;
      Mourn with those who mourn.
      Live in harmony with one another
      Do not be proud

      (lit., “not thinking highly” of yourself

Be willing to associate with people of low position  

Do not repay anyone evil for evil

Do what is right

      (kala, “beautiful,” used here in the ethical sense of good, noble, and honorable).

Live at peace with everyone

      (cf. “live in harmony with one another,” Rom. 12:16).

      But recognizing that limits exist, Paul included the words,

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you.  

Harmony with others may not always be achievable, but believers should not be responsible for that lack of peace (cf. Matt. 5:9).  

So if you are in a time of trial or testing remember that God is always present, ready to protect, guide, and provide.
As you focus and do your part through prayer and faith God will see you through.
Believe it, it’s true.

Questions

Chapters 11 and 12

What are you doing to give your children roots?

What ideas do you have for your brainstorming list?

What do you do that costs very little to make special days special?

What boundaries/circumstances has God placed in your life to define/refine you?

How have these been used as opportunities for growth?

What do you need most from God today?